Massive perspective change is possible in two words: “can’t” & “don’t.”

Our brains hear “can’t” and “don’t” COMPLETELY differently.

We get stuck in what we can and “can’t” do.  It’s a protective response: our mind considers anything outside of what we have experienced, a threat.  It doesn’t know if we will survive a new situation.

That’s why our brains prefer language that prevents change.  It’s also why we find it easy to say that we “can’t” do something.  It takes away the option of trying & the “danger” of the unknown.

BUT you can decide whether you like allowing your mind to protect you by removing OPTIONS.

Start by changing your perspective on what is possible for you.  Here’s how…

How your brain hears ‘don’t’:

1. The psychological effect of ‘don’t’ is experienced as a CHOICE. It is empowering & affirming.  A sign of our determination & decisive action.

2. It sounds like a STRENGTH.  When you say “I don’t” eat chips after 9:00 pm, it sounds like a confident affirmation to your mind, versus saying “I can’t” eat chips after 9:00 pm.  Hear the difference?

3. Change the MOTIVATION:  The things you say you “can’t” do, may not be what you VALUE.  You may think that you “can’t” travel, but maybe you “don’t” travel because you prioritize investing money & time into other areas.  Decisions are more rewarding when framed in positive motivation terms.

How your brain hears ‘can’t’:

4. The psychological effect of ‘can’t‘ is RESTRICTING. It leads to hopelessness & uncertainty in our capacity to effect change.  It sounds like a rule removing our power to create, take action or find options.

5. “I can’t” may not be true.  OFTEN, WE CAN – we just may choose not to – usually for reasons we aren’t yet aware of, such as not knowing our values as in the example above.  This is why perspective change is so powerful.

There is ALWAYS a choice:

Even when we actually can’t do something, there is a choice.  When one door closes & we can’t go through it, we can:
a. think & speak about the circumstances differently,
b. exercise OUR OPTIONS & find another way to approach the situation.

Here are some Scripts on what to say to yourself in such a circumstance & how to make a change when your options are limited.

Scripts For Perspective Change:

1. You choose to, or you choose not to do something.
2. You don’t know how to, or you’ll find out how to do something.
3. You don’t want to or aren’t ready to do something.
4. You don’t truly value this choice, thus it’s not a viable option.
5. You aren’t ready for this choice & you TRUST yourself to know when you are.

Doesn’t that perspective sound more like you own your life?

This is not denial – sometimes a circumstance will remove your options, but there are other options to create or find in every situation. 👇🏻

SCRIPT B) Exercising your options.
The options may not be the ones you wanted, but there are options:

1. You can get clear on what is important to you,
2. Focus on ‘what’ not ‘how’,
3. Start small,
4. Create accountability for yourself,
5. Stay open to the possibilities you’ve been resisting,
6. Find out WHY you’ve been resisting,
7. Get aware of self-defeating thoughts & challenge them,
8. Choose intentionally to let things go,
9. Don’t focus on time lost or time spent,
10. Resource help you hadn’t tried before.

All of these choices give you options and agency in your life.

“Don’t” we want that instead?

Related Articles:
Accept The Things You Cannot Change.
How To Stop Stressing About The Future.
Make Confident Choices & Stop Regretting So Much!
The Habits of Indecision That Are Killing Your Self-Trust.