Hey there, I'm Tess
Master Mindset Coach helping people to discover what they want & build it from the inside out.
Master Mindset Coach helping people to discover what they want & build it
from the inside out.
Tess René:
Before I found my footing as a dream-following, accepter-of-who-I-am kind of gal, I was hustling for external validation but didn't know it.
I was an over-achiever yet lived in a state of purposelessness. I thought I went 100% into everything because of passion but I was actually driven by a lack of self belief:
My immediate & extended relatives couldn't function well enough to raise a child, so from the age of 15 I lived in foster care in a small, prairie town where everyone knew I was the kid who was left behind.
I appeared confident but self-doubt plagued me. I consequently thought any acceptance I won was due to excellent acting skills, not the real me.
I didn't think I'd 'earned' any successes I enjoyed & blamed my past as the reason I didn't belong in the present.
I finished Grade 12 in a farm-house rental because I had aged-out of the system. I felt chronically afraid but never told a soul.
Everyone saw my stoicism as strength, but it was fear. I didn't show my emotions for fear of rejection. I learned that if I acted happy, smart & accomplished: then I was accepted.
My worth became tied to my performance. I excelled outwardly & struggled inwardly to the point of near-ruin.
Chronic unworthiness, self doubt, anger, fear, uncertainty all loomed in my mind.
I kept a smile plastered on my face but the whole time, I knew I didn't belong: anyone who accepted me was be-friending a smiley, phoney Tess.
My immediate & extended relatives couldn't function well enough to raise a child, so from the age of 15 I lived in foster care in a small, prairie town where everyone knew I was the kid who was left behind.
I finished Grade 12 in an old, farm-house rental because I had aged-out of the system. I chronically felt afraid & lost but never told a soul.
Everyone saw my stoicism as strength, but it was fear. I didn't show my emotions for fear of rejection. I decided that I would 'act' happy, be smart & accomplish everything; then I'd belong.
My worth became tied to my performance. I excelled outwardly & struggled inwardly to the point of near-ruin.
Chronic unworthiness, self doubt, anger, fear, uncertainty all loomed in my mind.
I kept a smile plastered on my face but the whole time, I knew I didn't belong: anyone who accepted me was be-friending a smiley, phoney Tess.
Not for one
second did I think
I belonged.
the personal story of
Master Therapeutic Coach | Developmental Psych Researcher | HSP | INFJ | Tea-Obsessed | Former OVERACHIEVER
One of the most important "People" in my life.
one of tHE MOST IMPORTANT "PEople" IN MY LIFE (& sitting on my lap as I write this to you...).
My cat:
My cat:
Understand what happened before.
Hold onto resentment.
Underachieve.
Overperform.
Do you ever feel like you need to:
Have people validate or LIKE you.
Know what is going to happen next.
Avoid recreating yourself.
Recreate yourself.
Be qualified.
Control the outcome.
Exaggerate who you are.
Fix it all, suffer, OR WAIT TO HEAL.
Escape & isolate.
Possibly one of the most important "People" IN MY LIFE (& sitting on my lap as I write this to you...).
One of THE MOST IMPORTANT "people" in my life.
My cat:
My cat:
I developed: Agoraphobia, chronic sleeplessness, hair loss, anger (rage really), social anxiety & distrust of almost everyone, to name a few.
It wasn't till rage threatened my closest relationships & stress caused loss of health, that I decided to do whatever it took to THRIVE in my life & do it with FREEDOM.
I spent over 2 decades chasing goals, trying to prove to myself & the world that I was ok. Eventually, the cracks showed.
My training in Psychology, taught me how to heal, but I was not free until...
The researcher got to work: I had studied the mind & applied it in my work as Life Coach & Vocal Coach for decades.
I already knew many of the steps for healing & they were necessary for the process, but they weren't enough to free me from the anger of the past or my insecurity.
Then I found the combination of steps that set me free from the emotions that imbalanced me & the thoughts that bullied me & kept me feeling uncertain of everything I said & did...
The best part?
Evidence-based, brain re-wiring is something everyone is capable of.
And none of it was as complicated as I thought it would be.
I found the sequence of steps that enabled me to manage my emotions & change the belief systems that kept me small & low.
THE BETTER PART?
Learning to think differently in an Evidence-based way is something everyone is capable of & none of it was as complicated as I thought it would be...
THE BEST PART: This is the system I teach my clients. I know from first-hand observation, IF THIS IS TRUE FOR ME, FORMER MAVEN OF ANXIETY, ABANDONMENT, insecurity & OVER THINKING, IT IS TRUE FOR YOU.
Understand what happened before.
Hold onto resentment.
Underachieve.
Control the outcome.
Do you ever feel like you need to:
Have people validate or LIKE you.
Know what is going to happen next.
Avoid recreating yourself.
Recreate yourself.
Be qualified.
Overperform.
Exaggerate who you are.
Fix it all, suffer, OR WAIT TO HEAL?
Escape & isolate.
Understand what happened before.
Hold onto resentment.
Underachieve.
Control every outcome.
Do you ever feel like you need to:
Have people validate or LIKE you.
Know what is going to happen next.
Avoid recreating yourself.
Recreate yourself.
Be qualified.
Overperform.
Exaggerate who you are.
Fix it all, suffer, OR WAIT TO HEAL?
Escape & isolate.
i hear you & i've been there
...that struggle does not have to run your life either...
Eight years ago, I believed I needed those things too.
My actions were being influenced by quiet, lurking beliefs that I was acting on but didn't know that I had!
Hidden Beliefs about myself & others kept me small & made it impossible to FEEL GOOD.
Those Hidden Beliefs: caused me to assume the way I saw myself was "just the person I was," but now I know how wrong I was.
And if you are struggling I also know:
My actions were being influenced by quiet, lurking beliefs that I was acting on - but didn't know that I had!
Hidden Beliefs about myself & others kept me small & made it impossible to FEEL GOOD..
Those Hidden Beliefs: caused me to assume the way I saw myself was "just the person I was," but now I know how wrong I was. And if you are struggling I also know:
my EXPERTISE:
it's personal
Our thoughts are the language that create our healing & our suffering. We all have the power to change that language, we just have to be taught how. It matters to me how you feel because I've suffered too. My expertise provides the methods to heal, but my personal story drives the passion.
cutting out what doesn't last
SINCE THE ONSET OF COVID, the mental wellness world filled with 'professionals' who offer tricks that don't support lasting change. I teach you a research-based, custom plan & together, we create steps you can stick to; all of which builds a foundation that supports long-term healing & mindset shifts.
sweat, tears & grit
2 decades of rigorous research & higher education, resulted in a premium coaching practice that yields LASTING patterns of thought change. The methods I teach my clients are the ones I taught myself & the ones that remove suffering.
| CERTIFIED MASTER THERAPEUTIC COACH |
| DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY RESEARCHER |
| CERTIFIED MASTER THERAPEUTIC COACH | AUTHOR | DEVELOPMENTAL PSYCHOLOGY RESEARCHER |
I'm ALL ABOUT
Straight talk,
LONG walks,
short emails,
helping you claim
agency in your life.
I'M NOT ABOUT
Comparison,
bandaid solutions,
'put-on' kindness,
the word "hack",
that hustle game.
Private coaching
You & Me. Let's Build Something Incredible Together
You don't have to know specifically where you need help, you only need the desire to feel better. Together, we will work to uncover the areas that hold you back & create a plan to help you break through & enjoy your life more.
I work to unlock your potential & maximize your performance by helping you to learn more about yourself rather than telling you where to go. I take each of my clients as individuals & create a plan custom suited for them.
