We believe it’s relaxing to “do nothing,” but learning how to be relaxed is not only lying on the beach or doing nothing…
Learning how to be relaxed goes much deeper. True rest isn’t about escape; it’s about calming your nervous system so your mind can reset.
In this article, you’ll learn seven practical ways to rest your brain and teach your body how to be relaxed in daily life.
Table of Contents
1. Become Aware Of The Noise.
Tuning out intentionally provides genuine rest and mental clarity.
Most of us don’t notice how overstimulated our brains are. The average work session is interrupted within 11 minutes. Messages, notifications, apps… may feel normal, but they drain your mental clarity.
The first step in learning how to reduce stress is becoming aware of what’s optional. Each ping from your phone is not a command, it’s a choice.
By questioning which interruptions matter, you protect your energy, get clarity on priorities and make space for genuine rest.
Pointers to try:
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Notice the first distraction that interrupts you today. Pause before responding.
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Ask: “Does this serve me right now?”
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Turn off one unnecessary notification for 24 hours.
Remember, for our mental health, it’s critical to question the interruptions.
2. Intentional Rest vs. Doing Nothing
Intentional rest restores more than escape ever can.
Doing nothing often means escape: scrolling, binge-watching, numbing out. But intentional rest is different: it’s chosen, mindful, and limited enough to refresh rather than exhaust.
Rest becomes restorative when you’re fully present in it. Look at the sky. Savour a song. Watch one show with your whole attention. Intentionality is what reminds your brain that rest is safe and that you deserve it (your sense of self-worth will thank you too).
How to be relaxed: Rest Is Intentional
It’s not another thing to check off your list, rest about absorbing and fully attending to the moment, wherever you are.
Calm your nervous system naturally with grounding practices: look into the distance, at the sky, a tree, or your own backyard. Let your senses take in the sights, sounds, and smells for five minutes. This is functional rest, it differs from escape because it’s intentional.
The same applies to Netflix or a favourite show. It’s not restful if you’re distracted the whole time. So laugh, cry, or get immersed but let yourself be in the experience. When your mind drifts to work, gently return to what you’re watching.
Rest Is Not Overindulgent
A treat can easily become a burden if we push it too far. Thirty minutes of Netflix can recharge you but hours of binging leaves most people feeling like zombies.
Everyday Tools:
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Pause for 5 minutes and immerse your senses in your environment.
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Choose one activity (walk, music, or show) and commit to enjoying it fully.
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Notice when pleasure tips into overindulgence. Stop before the zombie zone.
Intentional rest is about quality, not quantity. Rest that refreshes is balanced: immersive, enjoyable, but contained.
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Want a week of guided practices? My 7 Days of Regulation is a week long journey of 5-minute tools designed to calm your mind and body.
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3. ALICE! Beware The Rabbit Hole.
Rabbit holes drain your energy BUT when used mindfully, can restore creative juices!
The rabbit hole is the shiny object that distracts you while doing something else. It’s the gift that promises relief but never delivers (and sometimes it’s a way to avoid our feelings).
Distractions promise quick joy but rarely deliver rest. Shiny objects like doom scrolling, extra tabs, shopping sprees can exhaust more than they soothe.
Yet distraction isn’t the enemy, when done intentionally, it can be a reset.
Choosing to wander purposefully, like strolling the aisles for fun, can restore creativity. The difference lies in intention: unconscious distraction drains, chosen distraction refreshes.
Real-World Strategies:
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Before opening a new tab, ask: “Do I want this, or am I avoiding?”
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Schedule playful wandering — 10 minutes of Pinterest, guilt-free.
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Notice how your body feels after different distractions.
Our brains get tired when they jump like a bunny from one topic to another.
Lack of attention is a habit-forming behaviour, so noticing & redirecting this habit will help.
4. Cognitive Distancing
Create distance from your thoughts, as if they are passing cars on the road.
Relaxation begins in the mind. Overthinking, rumination, and anxious loops keep the nervous system on high alert. Cognitive distancing helps you notice thoughts without letting them run the show.
Instead of fighting anxious thoughts, create space. Distraction, redirection, or even movement can interrupt the loop and restore perspective. This space is where calm returns.
Cognitive Distancing is the skill of noticing anxious thoughts without automatically believing them. Your mind is always chasing three things: Answers, Protection, To be correct.
When you feel anxious, your mind scans for threats so it can “protect” you. That’s useful if real danger is present but emails, texts, and deadlines aren’t life-or-death situations.
The mind also wants to be right. If the thought is “I’ll never get everything done,” your brain will look for evidence to prove it. And if it can’t find any, it will create a story that confirms it anyway. This cycle reinforces anxiety and rumination, pulling you away from calm and from the clarity needed to solve problems.
Creating Distance helps you relax
The solution isn’t to suppress anxious thoughts but to create distance. Try to view your thoughts as if they are passing cars on the road: distance gives your mind space to reset and can come through:
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Distraction — shifting your focus temporarily
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Redirection — choosing a more helpful thought or activity
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Physical movement — changing your body state to shift your mental state
Even small moments of distance can interrupt the loop of anxious thinking and return you to a calmer place where solutions and acceptance of what is help create genuine rest.
The key is not suppression but distance; through distraction, redirection, or physical movement. That space helps you step out of anxious loops and back into calm.
Useful Insights:
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Label anxious thoughts as “just thoughts.”
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Shift your body: stand, stretch, or walk.
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Redirect to one gentle sensory focus (breath, sound, or sight).
5. How to be Relaxed Requires Action.
Small actions, like writing micro-tasks, prove to your brain that you’re capable and not stuck.
Our mind likes it when we take action. Action is a signal that we believe in our independent agency, our ability to create change and covertly tells us that we aren’t stuck where we are.
When you feel stuck deciding what to do, small steps tell your brain you’re capable. Making concrete choices is like an action step; it conserves energy and fosters rest for the brain. The key is not doing everything, but doing one thing.
The TTMA method:
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Take a breath.
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Tell your mind you can break it down.
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Move your body.
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Act on the next best step.
Tangible Takeaways:
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Write a micro-task: “send one email” vs. “catch up on inbox.”
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Ask: “Which of these really has to happen today?”
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Use movement (shake, stretch, cry) before you take action.
6. How To Be Relaxed – Write It Down
Writing longhand slows your mind and helps you see new options.
Writing slows the mind and helps thoughts lose their grip. Typing keeps your brain in fast-mode, but long-hand writing signals importance.
Just a few sentences can reframe a spiraling loop and show you options you couldn’t see before.
When you write long-hand, a few powerful things happen:
What Happens When We Write long-hand:
- The act of writing tells your brain that what is going on is important.
- You remember words that you write better than words you think about.
- Writing provides a different perspective.
- Putting pen to paper slows the mind & it can absorb more information.
- It reinforces the mind’s understanding of focus on the present and reduces the need for control.
Grounded Suggestions:
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Write one word that captures your current state.
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Jot down a looping thought and let it live on the page not in your head.
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Follow up with the feeling or thought you’d like to invite instead.
7. How to be relaxed with your TO-DO LIST.
Clear your list! Focus on one task a week to keep it light.
Start by breaking down the list…
A cluttered list exhausts your brain before you begin. Instead of looking at the same increasing list, break it down into one item on the list per week. Move one “forwarded” item into each new week until they’re cleared.
This method makes the impossible manageable. Your nervous system relaxes when it sees fewer tasks, and you’ll complete more with less overwhelm.
Daily Practices:
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Remove unfinished tasks and add just one per week.
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Keep your daily list under five items at any time.
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Celebrate each cleared task as proof you’re moving forward and let yourself feel some joy in accomplishment.
FAQ: How to Be Relaxed
Q1 – What is the fastest way to calm down?
Slow your breath, name what you feel, and anchor in your senses.
Q2 – Can distraction ever be restful?
Yes, if chosen consciously. Purposeful wandering can recharge your creativity.
Q3 – What’s one daily habit to feel more relaxed?
Write down one looping thought. Then write down the thought you want to be having. Putting these on paper breaks the cycle.
Your Path to Rest Starts Here
Relaxation isn’t passive, it’s a skill you can practise daily. If stress is running your life, it’s time to teach your nervous system a new way.
When You’re Tired of Going It Alone…
Peace comes easier with the right support.
“Tess helped me calm my nervous system and find lasting change.” — Christine S.
