We never know what’s coming yet struggle to let go of the future. 

We know we don’t control the future but act like we can by working harder or moving faster.

Like walking in the mist, we WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS NEXT.

Sometimes the mist hides obstacles in our path, sometimes we lose our way & other times we see clearly.

We try to avoid what’s ahead by veering off the path or running to get ‘there’ quicker.  But usually, we don’t accomplish anything other than tripping or getting lost.

But when we patiently stand still…& let things be what they are, we make space to choose our actions, reactions, perceptions, and feelings.

Letting go creates:

1. Feeling what you avoid – rushing is a way to avoid what your feelings. 
2. Vulnerability & softness. 
3. Accepting uncertainty more easily.
4. More space and more peace.

When we put our resources into something we can’t affect, it DIS-empowers us. 

The empowering option is to release your need to control by asking:

Questions For Your Need To Control  

1. How many times has “control” or worry produced the effect I wanted?
2. What effect is this having on my relationships?
3. If I look back, how often has worry or control changed an outcome?
4. How does this strategy make me feel about myself?
5. Is this how I want to keep feeling?

Letting Go of Avoidance

There’s one area we all find harder to ‘let go’ in and belonging is a common trigger point.

When we feel estranged or separated, our brains anxiously try to solve the problem they perceive so we don’t have to feel sad or rejected.

This ultimately makes us more anxious & angry.

When we avoid feelings in this way, we covertly tell our brains the feeling we’re trying to bypass is dangerous.

But, when you patiently let yourself feel sad, you can soothe the pain without anxiety.  It’s not so scary. The story your mind is telling you about it is worse than the emotion itself.

By accepting discomfort, you can slow things down enough to choose how you want to respond to it.

That results in feeling less anger or fear.

Yes. It is scary.  We fear not “controlling” everything, so we hold onto our “controlling” strategies to stay safe.

But does it feel safer?

How good do you feel micro-managing unmanageable events or the lives of others?  Do you feel happier or safer?

What if a change is essential?

Even then, letting the unpleasant event “be” what it is, is NOT the same as enduring it or suffering its existence.

Acceptance doesn’t mean a lack of change.

You can still change the things you want to, set goals & keep achieving, but you’ll do it with less fear about the outcome.

Until you get the change you want, acceptance means you let your current unwanted experience simply Belong. 

Instead of resisting or getting angry at where you are, you’ll spend more energy creating what you want with less attachment to whether it works out, and more excitement just to see if it will. 

This way, life becomes a game, not a measure of your worth or ability.

 

If I accept “what is,” will I be STUCK?

We think accepting our circumstances disincentivizes changing, but criticizing or over-working ourselves never inspires change.  

Change involves pain and discomfort, but we can’t suffer or beat ourselves into change.  

Shame & blame make moving forward difficult, take longer & won’t provide change that lasts.  

Take it to the Trees:

My father taught me patience by communicating with nature. When we were in the woods, he modelled how to stop, listen & hear what I couldn’t before. Stop and look so I could see what I couldn’t see before.

I still learn from those moments.  

When I want to speed through life & get ahead, I stop and listen. I create space for wonder about myself, my responses, and my surroundings. I CAN SEE AND HEAR AGAIN.

Wiser words and wiser choices become available & I know that I’ve tapped into the wisdom of acceptance.

We place vast limits on our intellect when we control, endure, rush or resist.

THE MORE WE SLOW DOWN & EXPAND OUR VISION, THE MORE WE CONNECT WITH OUR ABILITY.

“AS YOU SLOW DOWN, THE PATH AHEAD WILL BECOME CLEARER &
YOUR IDEA OF ONE RIGHT WAY WILL DISSOLVE INTO THE MIST.”

Facing The Fear of Letting Go

We associate letting go of the need to know with fear, yet we never ‘knew’ anything for certain in the first place.  

We think controlling what is to come (which we aren’t) keeps us from being harmed, but it’s keeping us from being free.  

We think of patience as a burden, yet it frees us from the burden.  It is a virtue and the ADVANTAGE we give ourselves of just noticing & being right where we are.

Patience lights the path in front of us.  Every time we practise letting go, we put down a heavy burden.  “Good” & “Bad” become neutralized.

Layer by layer, keep taking off your need to know and step more slowly & purposefully more often.

🎁 A GIFT: 
If you want to stay connected & learn more ways to produce thoughts that heal, not hurt you, click the link here to:  Unravel Your Exhausted Mind   🎁

Check out:
Articles on why we crave control:  Understanding Control

Other Related Articles:
Accept The Things You Cannot Change.

Why I Write a Blog. Full Community, Fears & Gratitude.

Sneaky Ways Fear is Holding You Back. 6 Ways To Face Your Fears

Make Confident Choices & Stop Regretting So Much!