Under the fear of rejection is the belief that if others see who we are, it will reveal we aren’t enough.

If others see who we see: every night before we hit the pillow and every morning before we put on our social face – they’d reject us.

How do you Conquer your fear of rejection?

The antidote is slowly exposing your anxiety, or lack of trust, to rejection & I’m breaking it down into 3, high-level steps here…

We face vulnerability when confronting rejection, especially the fear of exposing our true selves.

Rejection can feel deeply personal, but it’s a lie.  We can’t know if the world judges us harshly – but we can know when we do.

What we see in other’s opinions is likely not what they think, rather, we see something we already judge about ourselves.  The parts we keep hidden, even from ourselves.

The 3 steps outlined below are powerful tools for moving through that fear & part of a life-changing strategy for clients in my practice. Let me break them down to demonstrate some of their impact:

STEP 1: Feel the Sensation of Rejection

When you imagine or recall a moment of rejection, physical sensations are elicited — tightness, or nausea, etc…  These are key indicators of your body processing emotions, but also of its beliefs.

By focusing on the sensations of fear rather than the thought patterns that accompany it, you prevent yourself from spiralling into anxiety-driven narratives that usually follow rejection.

Instead, you ground yourself in the present moment, where fear is felt but not defined by what might happen or what has happened.

Identifying where you feel rejection in your body opens up a space for understanding it as a temporary experience—something that can be observed, not something that defines you. This step is about recognizing and separating the emotional experience of fear from the identity you assign to it.

Here’s How:

Imagine or remember a time you were denied or left out of something – this is something I would guide in session so if doing this process outside of a session with a trusted practitioner, make sure you pick a memory that is less than a 6 out of 10 on a scale of pain/triggering memory.

Notice the sensations that go along with that memory or image.  Let yourself feel that memory as a sensation in your body. Not a thought, just the sensation in the body.

An example of a sensation is tightness in your throat or chest, a queasy feeling in your tummy, tight shoulders, a slightly elevated heart rate, etc…  Stay with it and notice without any thought about it, watch the sensation change, move, or disapate….

Where was the sensation of rejection for you?

Step 2: Welcome the Voice of Fear

Now hear the voice of that sensation.  It has one, so let yourself hear from the parts of you hurting from rejection.

Normally, we push that voice aside, but I’m inviting you to listen to it because ironically, when you welcome that fearful voice without judgment, you are free to help it.

The voice or answer you hear will likely be only one word, a quick impression, or a memory flash.

Answers from the body can also sound like a child’s voice or be seen from a child’s perspective. We want to push this voice or image away & shut down the feelings associated with it through distractions.

But you can learn to pause & welcome those feelings & hear the unmet needs underneath them.  Then you can learn how to tend to them.

This is where true healing begins.

Step 3: Unmet Needs

What does this voice desire?”  Often, the fear of not being enough, not being lovable, or not belonging is an unmet need from childhood still looking for validation, love or belonging.

We all seek connection and acceptance – yet we often criticize ourselves for our needs thinking we’re grown-ups now and should be able to handle things.

When you allow the voice of unmet needs to be heard and give it compassion instead of judgment, you can begin to soothe it.

By asking what it needs—whether reassurance, validation or the presence of another person—you start fill what you missed in childhood.

What does this part of you fear?  What does it say it needs?

Step 3: Share the Fear with Someone You Trust

Fear thrives in isolation. When we keep our feelings of rejection locked inside, they can overwhelm us. But when we open up to someone we trust, we realize our fears are not unique. Others carry similar anxieties and doubts.

Sharing your fear is an act of vulnerability, courage & a path to connection. It helps you see that rejection is something that everyone experiences – you have an opportunity to build community & gain support.

In sharing, we find that others feel the same way we do—reassuring us that we aren’t alone, that our fears are human, and that our sense of belonging doesn’t hinge on lack of fear, but includes fear as part of our shared experiences.

At first it takes guidance to interpret the body’s voice and I’m here to hold space for you.

If you want to learn how to move past stubborn thought/feeling patterns that hold you back & comprehend & heal the beliefs held in the body connect with me below…