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    Handling Disappointment: How to Find Joy Again

    Handling disappointment in this Tess René Coaching article, shown through a woman finding a moment of warmth and hope outdoors.
    I'm Tess,

    MASTER CERTIFIED COACH,
    AUTHOR, RESEARCHER &
    CREATIVE-PASSIONATE MUSICIAN
    WHO SPEAKS FROM HER HEART & RESEARCH PSYCHOLOGY BACKGROUND.


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    Handling disappointment is not only about the experience you had. It is the way the hurt settles in your body and the way old fears rise to the surface.

    When you have hoped for something and it falls through, your system can feel shaken or unsure of what comes next.

    We want to reject this shaky feeling, yet the healing is inside the discomfort.  The wisdom inside the ache is something a part of you already wants: to slow down, listen inward, and discover that joy is not gone.

    Inside this article, we uncover ways to bring these desires into your life again and embrace a new awareness of joy that’s always here.


    1. The Emotional Landscape of Handling Disappointment

    handling disappointment in this Tess René Coaching article showing a woman reflecting represents the emotions of disappointment

    When disappointment closes the heart, reflection is the  doorway to presence and steadiness.

    “Joy isn’t built on life going well or handling it well.”

    Disappointment can feel like the opposite of joy.  It dulls the colour of life and makes you hesitate before hoping again.

    There are seasons when the heart feels closed not by choice, but by exhaustion or circumstance.  Disappointment, loss, and even success that didn’t satisfy can tighten the chest and dim our natural spark.

    Yet opening your heart isn’t about forcing positivity. It’s about remembering that love and joy are states of being that live alongside dreams that don’t come true.

    In this way, disappointment is not a detour from joy, but one of the ways joy teaches you how to stay open.

    Handling Disappointment is a Part of a Joy Filled Life

    Joy isn’t built on life going well. It is birthed from the capacity to let life move through you, even the hard parts, without closing your heart.

    And that doesn’t mean you have to handle it well.  Meeting disappointment with curiosity and softness, not perfection, helps you discover that joy is waiting beneath the ache.

    When I started opening my heart instead of protecting it, joy didn’t return, I remembered how to recognize it’s constant presence.

    Your heart knows how to reopen, it just needs your curiosity and a few small practices that remind it of safety.


    Ready to Open Up To Life?

    When joy feels far away, small daily shifts can bring it back.

    Download this tracker and guide to bring you into a  new way of seeing the world.  We aren’t faking anything.  When done consciously and with an open mind, seeing joy again is a process of inviting something new.

    ✦ Begin My Joy Reset ✦ →

    Confetti bursting from an open journal in this Tess René Coaching article introducing The Joy Reset free guide.

    Start your Joy Reset today!


    2. Somatic Healing for an Open Heart

    a gentle somatic heart opening moment in this Tess René Coaching article with a woman touching her chest to reconnect with her breath

    Small sensory cues like warmth and touch remind your body that it is safe to soften again.

    “…you are learning to be with emotions in a way that they don’t define you.”

    The mind cannot open the heart on command, but the body can help it remember how. When you begin to feel your breath, your weight, and your sensory field, your system receives cues of safety. This is the foundation of handling disappointment through embodiment, because the body shifts long before the mind understands what is happening.

    Instead of trying to think your way into relief, pause and let the body guide you. Bring attention to your chest as you breathe. Notice the way your ribs move. Feel the ground under your feet. These simple anchors speak directly to your nervous system and create a pathway back to openness.

    Your body softens more easily when it receives sensory cues of pleasure or warmth. This might be sunlight on your skin, your favourite scent, or a warm mug held between your palms. These moments teach your system to release its guard, which is the first step in healing disappointment through embodiment.

    Handling disappointment somatically:

    • Open your arms in the breeze

    • Hold a warm mug and notice the heat in your hands

    • Play a song that eases your shoulders

    • Inhale a scent that brings comfort

    • Let sunlight rest on your face for a slow breath

    These small cues are acts of embodied healing for disappointment and grief, helping your heart remember that it is safe to feel because you are learning to be with emotions in a way that they don’t define you but build up your self-worth now.


    3. Meeting the Closed Inner Child

    inner child compassion work in this Tess René Coaching article as a mother and child share a warm playful moment

    Inner child healing offers yourself the tenderness you once needed but never received.

    “Inner child work heals disappointment through embodiment, not only logic. 

    Many moments of disappointment hold echoes from the past. When something does not go the way you hoped, the intensity you feel often comes from the younger parts inside you that once had no support during their hurt.

    This is why inner child and disappointment work is so important: the ache you feel today may be touching wounds you learned to carry alone.

    handling disappointment with younger you:

    Instead of judging the emotion or young you, just notice the sensations of the disappointment.  Does it feel familiar?  When was the first time you felt this?

    You may discover that a small, younger part of you is seeking reassurance or presence.

    If so, imagine you are sitting beside your young self.  Turn toward them with curiosity. Notice how old they are.  What are they wearing?  What do their eyes tell you they are feeling?

    Once you can see them, ask younger you what they need right now.

    When you connect to younger you, something shifts. You begin healing disappointment through embodiment, not only logic.

    Place a hand over your chest or belly helps steady your breath. Your body feels the presence, and the younger part of you begins to trust that you will not abandon them or yourself this time.

    You can ask yourself:

    • What part of me is hurting right now

    • How old does this emotion feel

    • What comfort did I once need that I can offer myself now

    • Where is this feeling landing in my body

    • What tone of voice would soothe me most in this moment

    These questions create space for embodied healing for disappointment and grief, graciously accepting your internal world and opening a small space for it to feel seen and held rather than overwhelmed.


    4. Embodied Heart Opening Practices

    embodied heart opening practice shown in this Tess René Coaching article with a woman lifting her arms in sunlight on a beach

    Embodied practices help your system remember that openness is safe, even after hurt.

    “…do the opposite of what protection would look like in the body.”

    When disappointment spirals, your system often moves into protection. Your chest tightens, your breath shortens, and the mind fills with what ifs. But grounding through the body interrupts this cycle faster than any thought based approach.

    This is where somatic practices for dealing with disappointment become essential.

    Start by doing the opposite of what protection looks like in the body.  Instead of curling up, open your arms.  Instead of staying inside the feeling, feel the outside temperature of the room or the breeze.

    Spread your toes. Press gently into the floor. Notice the temperature of the ground beneath you. These small physical anchors tell your nervous system that the present moment is safe.

    Slow your exhale. Breathe in for four counts, breathe out for six. The longer exhale activates your calmer pathways and softens the internal alarm.

    Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Feel the warmth of your palms on your skin. This simple gesture communicates safety in a way words cannot. Your body responds immediately when warmth meets breath.

    Choose one grounding cue:

    • Press your feet into the floor until you feel steady

    • Lean your back gently against a solid surface

    • Exhale longer than you inhale

    • Hold your own hands for a moment

    • Place a warm cloth or blanket over your chest

    These practices help you handle disappointment with more presence and less collapse. You create a stable inner field where the heart can soften.

    Even when old patterns like indecision arise, these tools help you accept that they are trying their best to keep you safe.  They aren’t here to hurt you, they just need an updated strategy for safety.


    Closing Reflection

    Opening my heart is not a single act but a continuous conversation between body and spirit.  It’s choosing every day to stay connected even after being hurt, so that life can move with you rather than around you.

    Disappointment and love are not opposites; they’re part of the same doorway so a full life.  The more you meet each experience with acceptance and tenderness, the wider that doorway becomes.

    Joy enters through both the fully open door and the cracks.


    Frequently Asked Questions

    Q1. Why does disappointment linger even after the moment has passed?
    Disappointment lingers because your mind and nervous system are still processing what you hoped for versus what actually happened. When expectations are shaken, your body stays alert to prevent more hurt. This is normal, and it softens as you validate your feelings and update the story you are telling yourself.

    Q2. How can I handle disappointment without shutting down my joy?
    Start by acknowledging how much it hurts instead of minimising it. Then gently challenge the all-or-nothing thoughts that say “It will always be like this.” Look for small places where life is still supportive, and let yourself notice tiny moments of warmth or pleasure. These mindset shifts make room for joy to return alongside your disappointment, instead of after it.

    Q3. How long does it take to feel joy again after repeated disappointments?
    There is no single timeline, but many people notice small shifts when they consistently practise new thoughts and behaviours for a few weeks. Deeper change comes from staying compassionate with yourself, choosing more balanced stories about what happened, and letting your nervous system experience that not every hope ends in pain.


    Support That Helps You Trust Yourself Again

    If you’re ready to shift out of the loop of disappointment and into a steadier, more grounded way of living, a private session can help you understand what’s happening, calm your nervous system, and create real change that lasts.

    ✦ I’m Ready to Heal Old Patterns ✦ →

    Client testimonial featured in this Tess René Coaching article, showing a woman smiling alongside a quote about personal growth and trust.

     


     

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    Tess

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